BigZeroLittleZero

This one from Mark. So don’t blame me. - tj

A man walks into a restaurant in the Australian outback with a full-grown ostrich behind him.  The waitress asks them for their orders.
The man says, " I'll 'ave a hamburger, fries and a coke," and  she  turns to the ostrich, "I'll  'ave the same," says the ostrich.
 
A short time later the waitress returns with the order. "That will be $9.40 please," and the man reaches into his pocket and pulls out the exact change for payment.
 
The next day, the man and the ostrich come again and the man says, " I'll 'ave a hamburger, fries and a coke."  The ostrich says, "I'll  'ave the same." Again the man reaches into his pocket and pays with exact change.  This becomes routine until the two enter again. "The usual?" asks the waitress.
 
"No, this is Friday night, so  I'll 'ave a steak, baked potato and a salad," says the man.  "Same," says the ostrich.
 
Shortly the waitress brings the order and says "That will be $32.62."  Once again the man pulls the exact change out of his pocket and places it on the table.  The waitress cannot hold back her curiosity any longer. "Excuse me, sir.  'Ow do you manage to always come up with the exact change in your pocket every time?"
 
"Well," says the man, "several years ago I was cleaning the attic and, found an old lamp. When I rubbed it, a Genie appeared and offered me two wishes. My first wish was that if I ever had to pay for anything, I would just put my hand in  me pocket and the right amount o v  money would always be there."
 
"That's brilliant!" says the waitress. "Most people would ask for a million dollars or something, but you'll always be as rich as you want for as long as you live!"
 
"That's right. Whether it's a gallon of milk or a Rolls Royce, the exact money is always there," says the man.
 
The waitress asks, "What's with the ostrich?"  The man sighs, pauses and answers,
"My second wish was for a tall chick with a big ass and long legs who agrees with everything I say."