BigZeroLittleZero

Thanks to all of you who emailed me back Flam-o-gram emails, all pissed off because the funny punch line in the PPT slide show never came. I told you it was an inspiring story about customer service. I did not lie. And I must say, based on the tidal wave of “What the F@*&%*?” replies that I received, I can see that you are all truly warm, loving, caring souls, every one of you. I got several replies ranging from “F(*%(% YOU” to “let me tell you what REALLY happened.”

Here are my two favorite replies to my email below about Johnny, the grocery store bagger. Dale responded with:  

You didn't hear what happened? Johnny got fired after one of his notes said "Hey Lady, can I slip you a salami?" Not quite the personal service they were hoping for...

And here is Betsy’s version of events. You decide which one is closer to the truth.

And now for the rest of the story.

1.         Several elderly ladies were pricked by the pins from the floral department.  One clerk who was contaminated by the blood contracted AIDS.  She is sue-ing the store.

2.         When the lines became too long, customers began to complain about not being able to move around the frozen food section.  Subsequently, Johnny was fired.

3.         Seeking a new job, Johnny, who is also slightly dyslexic, wrote in his resume that he was a “B-e-g-g-a-r”, instead of “B-a-g-g-e-r”.  Word got out and thousands of dollars poured in to assist Johnny.  The FBI is investigating him now for mis-representation and extorting funds.    

4.         No longer able to work as a bagger or a beggar, Johnny is striving to redefine himself.  He is no longer a “Johnny”.  He is now a “John.”  Job opportunities are filling the streets

You’re all deeply twisted – all of you. And I mean that in the best way.

-          tj